February 12, 2013

Some People...

So time for some true stories from down under. I might not have been busy 100% of the time and in what little down time I did have I chose to go out and see the sites aka visit the bars and enjoy myself slightly. By enjoy I don't mean drink as after all the only enjoyment that brings me is embarrassing aussies when I outdrink them. Instead what I find most entertaining is watching the people in the bars. I could see who's together, who should be together, who is too embarrassed or nervous to make a move when they should, etc.

Word of warning, this one is slightly graphic, don't read if you're easily offended by words.

I take the time to remind you of two things. First of all I'm not that altruistic I'm of the opinion that sometimes the best way to help someone is to let them get what's coming to them and if I intervene it makes them weaker, aka what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. While that's not true of everything or a first stop it's the best way to quickly sum up my position. Secondly is that my friend I normally visit is in melbourne not sydney or some other part of aus, no real significance there other than a reminder.

So I'm at a bar perhaps 2 blocks from my friends house and I'm having a grand time, really interesting people, and the night had actually introduced me to someone who's fairly intelligent so I'd had a great conversation up to this point. Then I'm watching a situation develop with my new friend and we're so alike that at the same time we said something about popping some popcorn to watch the show. Basically we both noticed how the stance of this man and woman turned very aggressive, their postures and gestures basically told us this wasn't going to end without violence. Being who I am I'm inclined so simply watch them beat each other to death and enjoy myself while doing so rather than stop it. Then the most hilarious thing happened, someone else did try to step in and they both started wailing on him and suddenly it was like everything was better they had some weird pent up aggression that just needed to be worked out and it probably had nothing to do with the other.

Low and behold these turned out to be my friends neighbors and so later that night we both get to listen to that angry make up sex. The only particular thing of note outside of the standard dirty talk was a hilarious moment me and my friend couldn't help but laugh at when the man screamed "look at me when I'm fucking you".

The next night I'm out again enjoying myself when guess who I see at this completely different bar. The woman from the night before interestingly enough without the man. I decide to approach and start a conversation given that I'm normally comfortable enough starting conversations with complete strangers and here I have a decent story to share it's a much better start than most. Turns out I would regret that ever so slightly. I offer her a drink which she's all to eager to accept and I proceed to mention that it turns out we're neighbors and she promptly cuts me off with this little line "do I look like your shrink? no? then why are you talking to me?". wow.... SHUT DOWN that's probably the best and also the meanest shut down I've ever experienced. I do manage to get the rest of the story out and she warmed up we carried a conversation for a while and as I'm about to move on her boyfriend shows up. More precisely he approached us as apparently he had been there some time watching. He had some misconceptions about what we were doing and though it would be a good idea to take a bitch shot at me when I wasn't looking like I'd just walk away from that. I won't share any other details beyond that because I don't know what the international laws are regarding the situation and I really would like to visit my friend again in the future. Suffice to say I did not take it well and I did not simply walk away and what happened to him was probably for the best.

On a side note my beard smells funny today, not sure why though I have a few ideas. I also had a camera returned to me while I was down under and it turns out I'm a bigger freak than I realized when I saw some videos I took with it a few years back. Any of you ever have that happen? You look at your camera or some old files a few years later and just it hits you how much has changed and learn something about yourself you didn't realize was so true till just then?


  1. Wow... they sound like a very "quality" couple :) I'm glad the dude got what was coming to him, though!

    You should go out to bars more often and fill us in on your hijinks :)