December 31, 2012

Baking Ninjas! - Seriously!

This is likely the most strange thing I've ever written, however I assure you every word of it is true. At around 3am today I was alone at my house, in my basement, at my computer, when suddenly I smelled smoke. I was quite sure the house was on fire and rushed upstairs as quickly as I could to see what it was, perhaps the christmas tree with too many lights and ornaments or maybe I left something like the toaster on. None of these things, there was no fire I could find. I traced the smell back to kitchen where I found a fresh out of the oven hot loaf of banana nut bread. It was in one of my bread pans. I hadn't done any cooking. Furthermore I knew I was alone in the house, not to mention the fact my kitchen is above my computer room and the floor boards creek if I breathe too hard, and I didn't hear a single thing creek at all. On top of everything else I checked the oven which still had all the pans in it, and the oven itself was quite cold, clearly it had not been used to bake this fine loaf of bread, nor were there any dirty dishes in my sink. Out of confusion I test the bread again to make sure it's as hot as I thought and it was. I look for any sort of card or note before I now check the doors to make sure they're locked and can't simply be pushed open, then I even check the screen doors.

Eventually I couldn't explain how this loaf of bread came into existence, how it wound up in my house, or why it was in one of my bread pans. I eventually settled on it either had to be baking ninjas or baking ghosts. I opted for ninjas. Once people started arriving I asked if one of them had came by and dropped it off, check with my neighbors which are also family if they came by for something or left it for me. Nobody claimed the banana bread as theirs.

Clearly this is going to be the most interesting new years ever, and perhaps the entire year will be awesome. Or simply put, perhaps I've completely destroyed reality and the universe will implode any day now, we'll see. I saved some of the bread aside to see if there's anything special about it, but I figure safety test it first by feeding it to all of my guests minus the section I saved for myself, because it would be rude not to try some of it assuming it's safe. So far everyone is still alive and says it tastes great. I'm inclined to believe the baking ninjas love me for some reason and this is their holiday thank you gift to me.

Also if you have an answer to this, feel free to say it in the comments.Aside from the obvious of course which is that I've completely lost my mind, because apparently I haven't, I checked, it's right where I left it.


  1. Dude, that's intense, I've had similar things happen to me, like finding random shit in the house that I know I didn't buy even when i was home a lone for like a month

  2. Wow. That's a strange story--but at least you only found bread, right? Not something creepier or whatnot.

  3. This is the most AWESOME THING EVER. I want a baking ninja to sneak into my house and make me delicious treats!

    Here's what I think: I think that you baked it yourself. Not the YOU that lives in this particular dimension (because that would mean that you are either crazy or were black-out-drunk at the time of the incident). I think that YOU from another dimension decided to play a little prank on yourself, and figured it would be an excellent NYE gift.

    Maybe next time, you'll drop off a nice bottle of Scotch!